A Note to Myself V

Does doing insane thing helps you to achieve something?

Last two weeks were full of experiments to find an answer of above. I find this true to the some extent, maybe there is nothing called absolute solution but sometime you need a slap on your face to regain the lost conscience. Even a sentence or a word can do that magic. Trust me on this! Intentionally I got that magic.

Here is how, I had one contact which I thought will understand, or at least will be the same what I left two and a half years ago; however, those firm and echoing words slapped very hard on my face saying like fuck off! Go get a life.  

And another one, as I have mentioned earlier, the facebook one! I came to know how unconvincing I am, how unexpressive I am, I couldn’t put my heart on words. Maybe it’s the uncertainty or an anjana talk it is, whatever it is, my heart doesn’t allows me to open up to strangers. Ultimately, I got those magic words slapping straight on my face.

So I have regained a bit of myself over these two weeks, however mornings are still full of weirdness and prays to hold her, see her, heard that lovely sleepy voice, to put my hand on face then crease falling hairs. Morning hours are just like this, mixed feelings of like end of the world, a free world. But when you already have touched the high point, below that bar is always dull of life.

Bike to Work.

Delhi’s temperature crossing 35 degree Celsius already and its going to be tough summer this time riding to work. It’s been two months and counting, not so regular though. Mornings are always better than nights, coz in my case no matter how hard I try to convince myself not to go cycling to work the previous night, but comes the next morning and I find myself ready to go to work in cycling attire.

And it’s fun to see kids racing with you, going ahead and you smile passing by when you hear “gear wali cycle to haraa dia“. It gives an immense pride and joy seeing the irritated car drivers, shouting truck drivers and over enthusiastic truck conductors. Everyone turns back to you some with amazed faces, some in funny faces, some making fool of themselves. But at the end of the day you get a big relief of being survived and in full piece.

So the blame game continued with the slipped one!, facebook linked to someone self proclaimed adventurous person. Initial talk looks scary but at the same time having someone unknown listening to your heart is always good or safe, ohh no it’s not safe, when you know that the watchful eyes are there too. However, the interesting thing is some other’s prediction, gets you to think, analyze what went wrong and more importantly thought process gets a new perspective. But then can unknown persons sorrow/joy be your adventure?

All my thoughts, adventures are on hold. Doing double shift, sleeping, biking can engage you on weekdays but what about weekends? Two days of doing nothing fills nothing inside the dirty mind and makes every second like a year.