Searching Purpose…

There was a boy, shy sometimes nervous but always cared about everyone coming on his way, no matter what. Didn’t care about his personal image or first impression or anything that catches eyes, however always thinking about others perspective while doing anything.

He plans a lot creating future plans, time table about daily routines, expenditure and investment planning just to name a few. But once plan was on paper, he lost in another plan and forgot about previous one. Life goes on and his life was going on just like that. Thinking, planning, put down on paper and forgot.

Army was always a passion, tried very hard to get into it, attempted week long tests on various locations about 6 times and failed every time. Then age! Days were passing during those attempts, remember? Anyways scattered dreams, accepted life.

After graduation a job was in mind, so got that with a little struggle walking here and there trying again and again. Once got his dream company but not a dream job, he thought of civil services so planning on books searching compiling every bit of information available on the world called ‘internet’, and taking Sunday rounds of Delhi Gate to buy books. Very soon, table n shelves were full of some fat some old books. Job was going on, money was flowing, days were passing. Then comes D day, exam was good but what the heck! nowhere on successful list of candidates? Dreams scattered again!

Upper or top level job aspirations were on dustbin, new magic called ‘IBPS’ was on air, filled and cleared first and second but again failed when it came to personality judgment. He never understood the reason though. Yup scattered dreams everywhere, here there everywhere….

Job was not so pleasant, so left at peak time when the boy was actually supposed to capitalize his hard work and ask for credits but style or nakhre, yeah you can call that, joined two levels below position in a new place, salary was above though.

And now, two months passing by, the boy is again desperate to quit that so called two levels below but good salary job and desperately wondering to get into something good, again.

But at the same time the boy looks inside to see if he finds any pleasure on whatever he was doing?

Confused!

He has a family back there, parents, a sister and brother’s family. He thinks he has to pay or it’s his duty to repay whatever his family has done to him, because of them he was sitting in a big city and earning good money. So much around him like Sister’s marriage, expectations of society, ageing parents? \

He dreams everyday, of quitting job, of taking his beloved cycle and head towards Himalayas. He thinks he will gain something on his journey. May be his fortune awaits somewhere, maybe he finds his purpose, maybe he encounters reality, maybe he finds peace, may be these bizarre thoughts stop showing up, maybe he becomes like everyone else, may be….

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