Been a good student/learner all throughout my life till schooling, even in grads I didn’t score well however I learned things quickly. Wondering why I am recalling all this, perhaps past one week has been so tough that I can not even open a book! forget the studying.
In college days people used to say when money comes in your hand, you just keep going to earn more of it. I think this is the phase I’m into? So many young lads are doing well around me and they are so confident about everything that sometimes I get scared of myself! Is this a fear to fail or humiliation it is? One side, scared of others doing well, other side unable to prepare myself up to the mark.
What’s stopping me from achieving THAT moment?
I dreamed of being a runner, ran two half marathons’, I dreamed of having a bike, a mountain bike lies in front of me unused for a month now, a laptop, internet, android cell phone, pile of books – fiction n non fiction n autobiographies, a good friend and a balanced life. A job awaits me with substantially good money & timing. I have it all what I dreamed of sometimes, still my weekends are not like I plan. The joy of achieving something has gone. Why?
What I need to restore the balance? When will I be able to do something I want?
Perhaps the dream of cycling across Himalaya and India can’t be formulated, perhaps getting tag of Indian Army soldier will be a dream forever, perhaps getting into Govt. is not happening so easily, perhaps I am getting old now…..