Last night too was no good just like previous one; I tried to read book “Steppenwolf” by Hermann Hesse, and with that came my own reflection of my living, past actions and foolishly trying to relate that.
I got this intense feeling to talk to my father, which I couldn’t; being late night, it felt like ages then somehow I was able to move the my own thoughts on myself. It was like an intuition like knowing beforehand that something is going to happen or has already happened which I am not aware of but I am getting inside feelings or like someone signaling me or intuition what we call generally. All was well though, looks like this intuition is also fading with the age.
Well, the thing is I have been living in this room as a prisoner; it has no light, no cellphone coverage let alone internet or stuff like that. It’s been over a year now living like this. The book was like my own reflection- isolated and psychotic.
So I decided to open my arms again, socialize, get active on Facebook again, staring on other peoples life and then comparing with my own, moving ahead. I already have this blog to dump all my negativity, Twitter too comes handy sometime.
I really need to create some awesomeness around me.
Something like this is planned; let’s hope it goes well to start with.
Before that I need to finish this book (the writer claimed that it was highly misunderstood, which is exciting). Meanwhile this is the fourth book I am reading written by Hermann Hesse (kind of my favorite now).
“Challenge is what enthralls me and free spirit is what I exhibit. “Never Give Up, Never Give In!” is a phrase that works miracles for me. “Courage and Conviction” has been a way of expression of my self.” — Malli Mastan Babu
Last night I was sleepless, my eyes were wide open as late as 2 am, the image of lifeless tent in Andes was alive in front of my eyes flashing like anything. My heart was desperately waiting for his soul to come and talk to me, though Mountains retained its favorite child, the mountaineer Malli Mastan Babu was quite awake in my head. He was my hero, without doubt. He conquered the final climb too. I pray and hope for peace, nothing more.