April 14, 2014
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Does doing insane thing help you to achieve something?
Last two weeks were full of experiments to find an answer of above. I find this true to the some extent, maybe there is nothing called absolute solution but sometime you need a slap on your face to regain the lost conscience. Even a sentence or a word can do that magic. Trust me on this! Intentionally I got that magic.
Here is how, I had one contact which I thought will understand, or at least will be the same what I left two and a half years ago; however, those firm and echoing words slapped very hard on my face saying like fuck off! Go get a life.
And another one, as I have mentioned earlier, the facebook one! I came to know how unconvincing I am, how unexpressive I am, I couldn’t put my heart on words. Maybe it’s the uncertainty or an anjana talk it is, whatever it is, my heart doesn’t allows me to open up to strangers. Ultimately, I got those magic words slapping straight on my face.
So I have regained a bit of myself over these two weeks, however mornings are still full of weirdness and prays to hold her, see her, heard that lovely sleepy voice, to put my hand on face then crease falling hairs. Morning hours are just like this, mixed feelings of like end of the world, a free world. But when you already have touched the high point, below that bar is always dull of life.
April 3, 2014
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Delhi’s temperature crossing 35 degree Celsius already and its going to be tough summer this time riding to work. It’s been two months and counting, not so regular though. Mornings are always better than nights, coz in my case no matter how hard I try to convince myself not to go cycling to work the previous night, but comes the next morning and I find myself ready to go to work in cycling attire.
And it’s fun to see kids racing with you, going ahead and you smile passing by when you hear “gear wali cycle to haraa dia“. It gives an immense pride and joy seeing the irritated car drivers, shouting truck drivers and over enthusiastic truck conductors. Everyone turns back to you some with amazed faces, some in funny faces, some making fool of themselves. But at the end of the day you get a big relief of being survived and in full piece.
So the blame game continued with the slipped one!, facebook linked to someone self proclaimed adventurous person. Initial talk looks scary but at the same time having someone unknown listening to your heart is always good or safe, ohh no it’s not safe, when you know that the watchful eyes are there too. However, the interesting thing is some other’s prediction, gets you to think, analyze what went wrong and more importantly thought process gets a new perspective. But then can unknown persons sorrow/joy be your adventure?
All my thoughts, adventures are on hold. Doing double shift, sleeping, biking can engage you on weekdays but what about weekends? Two days of doing nothing fills nothing inside the dirty mind and makes every second like a year.
March 3, 2014
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It’s been long since I wrote here. So thing is I have been busy in nowhere but myself. I was looking for a solution for all the miserable life I am living, haven’t found anything, however, one thing got cleared that all these years I was wrong! I was looking for life in materialistic things or in nature but found that it is human relations where life is!!
But it’s too late now. I can’t get what I have lost during this journey. I am just like a newly born child whose parents left him at the footpath. I need a shelter, a home, a pure hand whose fingers I can hold and can say Thank you! But life is not what we think; it’s a continuous process of moving ahead. Here no one waits for nobody, everyone climbing up putting foot on another head.
So the thing is; I was wrong and realization came late. Now I am all alone, back to the times where I started.
But one thing I got; a new feeling, a new heart, new times, new thinking, wet eyes and above all, a feeling of love; which I waited for a long-long time.
And this life is for you now. xoxo
February 17, 2014
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2014 Jatara dates were February 12 to 15. Its the kumbh mela of Telangana region, thousands of thousands people go there to take holy bath and make a wish. Sammakka Saralamma Jatara or Medaram Jatara begins at Medaram which is about 100 kms. from Warangal.
We started early in the 15th morning, a shared cab from home and train 17011 from Secunderabad Jn. to Kazipet, again a bus from there to Warangal.
Explored Warangal till evening 1700 hrs. and then a bus for 4 hrs. of journey to Medaram. Mela was almost closed, reached there by 2100 hrs. went straight to the temple area to find the shelter for the night. Looking and roaming around didn’t appealed much so decided to take bath, do the darshan and head back to Hyderabad.
Took bath at 2300 hrs. followed by darshan, at 0200 hrs. boarded a bus back to Warangal and from there bus to Hyderabad. At 0930 hrs. I was back to my dorm.
I was not ready for this trip halfheartedly but what you do when you get rejected by your loved one! All the time, every moment was dedicated to the past, things that I did wrong. Everybody visits God and asks for goodness but I was there to make fool of myself; no wish nothing came from inside, was just walking barefoot over the area full of coconut water and melted jaggery blocks. May be am being so stubborn or may be God knows what’s inside my heart or perhaps I don’t have anything to ask for or may be I’m too heartbroken to wish something.
Anyways here’s some snaps…
Whisper your wish to Nandi and feel good!!!! I didn’t though! @ Thousand Pillars temple.
@ Warangal fort..
At top air was blowing so beautifully, sat there for almost an hour and missed every part of past.
@ the temple. guess what is that I’m standing at? yea! melted Jaggery it is..
Open temple. Coconut and Jaggery blocks instead of flowers.!
February 17, 2014
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As planned, this happens to be an epic of own kind but it didn’t go well.
First I missed the connecting train from Vijayawada, as the train was late by 2 hrs. Had to take general boggy, reached Chennai at 5 in the evening. Walked up to Marina beach and came back to catch the Neelgiri exp. train. I was lucky till here but didn’t go alright at Metupalaiyam station. I was in waiting list and toy train was having only three small bogies; train left at scheduled time but without me.
Lesson learnt here and went to the bus stand which is at the walking distance. I was already heart broken, the missed toy train did no good. Got a bus to Coimbatore and waited there for my return train to Hyderabad.
@ Marina beach, full of localities…